Stereotypes, women, and marriage 

Ever since childhood I have noticed that there are several stereotypes towards married women. There are two that bother me the most. 

The first stereotype is that all men are essentially overgrown little boys who need women to rush in and save the day, to be the brains who work tirelessly to keep life running smoothly. 

Example: The first time I picked up on this stereotype was in elementary school during a Super Bowl commercial. I don’t remember exactly what happened but I do remember that the husband was on the couch surrounded by junkfood watching football. The wife walks in with bags under her eyes, a baby on her hip, two kids behind her and another arm full of groceries. She begins berating him for all the things he didn’t do properly and it’s pretty clear that there’s not much going on inside his head. The Disney channel is notorious for creating father characters like this. Or here’s another example, those “cute” baby onsies that give fathers instructions on how to change a diaper. Only women know how to care for others, right? 

The second is that men are macho and in control. Women are submissive and work tirelessly to keep their man happy, the home clean and the kids every little need is attended to while the woman’s identity slowly disappears until she is little more than an obedient maid, a shadow of her former self. 

Example: Keep reading, I’m getting there. 

I don’t know which stereotype is more detestable. 

Over the years these stereotypes have definitely softened, but they still exist none the less. To prove it, I’ve seen this meme being shared and reposted over and over.

A lot of men act like they are doing women a favor by asking for their hand in marriage, but let’s think about it.

She changes her name. 

She changes her home, 

She leaves her family,

She builds a home for you,

She gets pregnant for you, 

She bears children for you, Pregnancy destroys her body, 

She gets fat, 

She almost gives up in the labor room due to unexplainable pain, 

Even the kids she delivers bear your name, 

Until the days she dies, everything she is doing benefits you. 

So let’s think about it again, who is really doing who a favor? Men appreciate your women. 

I hate that! I don’t want my girls  reading things like that and seeing marriage as more of a servitude than a relationship. This is what the meme should say: 

A lot of people act like they are doing a favor by asking for someone’s hand in marriage, but let’s think about it. 

She chooses to take his name, or he chooses to take hers. 

You both leave your homes to build a new one together. 

You both leave your families, to start your own family. 

She gets pregnant and you care for her throughout the pregnancy. 

She is blessed with the miracle of giving birth and he is blessed by being apart of  it. 

Pregnancy changes her body forever, so that her breasts can give milk to her baby, and so that her uterus can give it a home, 

He falls in love with her new body and who she is as a mother 

In the labor room she is at peace and excited to meet her child, because he supports, comforts, and encourages her. 

The children she delivers bear the family name.

Until the day they die, everything they do is to benefit each other.

So who is really doing who a favor? 

Both of them are! Men and women, appreciate each other.