Ever since Kim Kardashian decided to “break the internet” I’ve read a slew of articles defending her nude photo shoot. Most of the articles are based on the premise that just because she’s a mom doesn’t mean she cant continue to be the same person she was before North.
Unfortunately that person has built a career more off of her constantly naked or semi naked body, than who she actually is – but I digress. While I clearly don’t agree with her photo shoot, I do agree that on some level every a woman should continue on as she did before.
I don’t mean that her children take a backseat. On the contrary, being a mom does change a woman and who she is forever. Once a mother, a woman’s children become her top priority. However, I do believe that there is always more to a mother than just being “mom”.
When I think of a mom, I think of mini vans, PTA, out of style clothes, soccer practice, washing dishes, and slowly giving up on the idea of wearing make up. I think of a tired woman who isn’t anything more than doing those things. I don’t think I’m alone in that (erroneous and archaic) view of motherhood. It’s just a knee jerk kind of reaction.
Before motherhood I loved to dress up. I’m talking obnoxiously wearing full make up to the gym kind of dress up. I loved to read, to day dream about traveling, I loved to constantly try new things, I loved to DIY and repurpose things. There’s a million more things about myself I could list here.
Motherhood has changed my life forever. It has changed who I am, but it hasn’t taken away who I am. Being a mother is not the entirety of my existence, it’s a facet of my existence.
It’s makes me sad to even think about it, but one day I won’t be changing diapers anymore. My house will empty itself of toys and and tiny little shoes. Babies will turn to children, children to teenagers, and teenagers to adults who move out.
While I’ll always be a mother, the dynamics of being a mother will change. My whole identity isnt wrapped up in the care taking aspect of motherhood. Motherhood is a relationship, a journey, a chapter of life that changes with time.
I think it’s important for my daughters to see that outside of being their mother, I’m still my own person, just as much as they are their own persons. I want my daughters to love me as their mother, but I also want them to love me for who I am outside of the diaper changing, the clothes washing, the dinner cooking, and all of the other tasks that I now have as a mommy.
I want my daughters to believe that they can still dress up, be beautiful and sexy (and by sexy I don’t mean showing their hooha to the world) have hobbies and be interesting women when they become mothers. I don’t want them to think that motherhood relegates a woman to a life of sweatpants and weekly walmart trips (though I have developed an affinity for Walmart and sweatpants, I still try to find the time to over dress) I want my children to see that motherhood doesn’t take away from a woman, it infinitely adds to a woman.